The Ty-Rade: Doing April Fools' Day the right way

By: Ty Wilson, Staff Writer

In just a few short hours, March of 2022 will officially be over and April will promptly begin. If you’re not wary of tricksters and any mischievous characters celebrating April Fools’ Day, you could be the object of someone's cruel and hilarious prank.

Seasoned Vantage readers will recall that last year in The Vantage, a former writer and I battled over whether April Fools’ Day was an actual holiday. But now she’s graduated and is off to bigger and better things, and there’s no one to oppose me. So here's a couple of pranks you can pull this year to really get your favorite Newmaneers.

When people get prank happy, it's easy to cross the line and make a fool of yourself. In that spirit, you should prank your friends who can’t take a joke. I would suggest inviting them out to dinner as a gesture of your friendship and to coax them into feeling secure. Tell them to wear something nice, to really get gussied up for a night of luxury dining. What you don’t tell them is that you have a bucket of vegetable oil rigged up to dump on them as they walk in your room as well as a fan and feathers set up to turn them into a human-sized chicken. If all goes to plan, you will have successfully pranked them as well as lost their trust for the remainder of your friendship.

Let's say you want to step it up this year and prank the whole school or maybe just the faculty. You're tired of all the easy kid tricks and you want to see if you have some real chops in the prank game. Well, let's see if you can handle Gators in the Grotto. That's right: You're going to fill the Grotto with live alligators and watch madness ensue. Everyone has an exotic animals dealer these days, so getting the gators shouldn’t be a problem. Lets see what those campus cats do when they're up against a full grown 11-foot gator. Something is telling me they're going to need more than nine lives.

Pranks come in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like spraying a friend with silly string. Some are a bit bigger, like putting a hive of killer bees in your roommate's car.

The point of April Fools’ Day is to rejoice in humor, and try to squeak a laugh out of your friends. Please don’t be afraid to go above and beyond this year. I need more things to write about, and “Student bit by alligator” has a nice ring to it.

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo, Unsplash