By: Father Ed Herzog
There are moments in life when we become acutely aware of what it means to be human. Moments when the heart cries out for meaning, for an explanation, for the presence of someone who can console us. Moments when we recognize just how deeply we are made for one another and how painful it is when someone we love is suddenly no longer with us.
For many of us at Newman, this is one of those moments. With the loss of McKenzie this past Sunday, we have been confronted with the fragility of life and the reality of death in a way none of us expected.
Our instinct is often to escape the discomfort. We fill the silence, distract ourselves and look for ways to move on. We want answers. We want the pain to go away. But perhaps we should resist the temptation to move too quickly past this moment. There is something important being revealed in our grief.
When we lose someone we love, we discover just how much we desire. We discover that the human heart is made for something more than the brief time we have together. We long for a love that does not disappear, a relationship that is not ultimately defeated by death. The human heart carries within it an infinite desire, and moments like these bring that desire to the surface.
When my dad died about three years ago, I remember trying to resist the temptation to escape that reality. I stayed close to the people I loved. We shared memories, grieved together and allowed ourselves to feel the weight of our loss. But I also tried to let the questions remain. Sometimes we need to allow reality to speak to us, even when what it reveals is difficult.
And this is where faith enters: not to explain away our suffering, but to help us see it differently.
When Jesus arrived at the tomb of his friend Lazarus, he wept. He did not stand at a distance from human suffering. He entered into it. He experienced the pain of separation and loss. In other words, Jesus allowed himself to be fully human.
But Jesus also reveals something that we could never discover on our own, namely that death does not have the final word. The same Jesus who wept at the tomb would walk out of his own tomb. Christianity does not deny Good Friday, but it also boldly announces that Easter Sunday is real. The Resurrection is not an attempt to make suffering seem less tragic. It is the extraordinary claim that God's love is stronger than death.
This is the hope we are invited to hold onto, not because we have all the answers, but because we have encountered Someone who does. Our hope is not ultimately an idea or a philosophy. It is a Person: Jesus Christ, who has entered into our humanity, taken upon himself our suffering, and opened for us the possibility of eternal life.
And we do not have to hold onto that hope alone. We need one another. We need the Church, the communion of believers who remind us of the truth when we struggle to see it ourselves. And right now, understandably, it will be very difficult for some of us to see in the wake of McKenzie’s tragic death.
So perhaps the most important thing we can do right now is quite simple: be present. Be present to one another. Listen. Share memories. Grieve with McKenzie's family and friends. Resist the temptation to offer easy explanations. Sometimes the greatest act of love is simply to accompany someone in their suffering.
Right now, we need to allow ourselves to be human. We need to recognize the greatness of the human heart, the depth of our desire, and the pain of a love that does not want to let go.
But we also need to remember that our desire for life, love, and communion is not meaningless. It points us toward the One who created us and who promises that death will not have the last word.
As the Book of Revelation promises, a day will come when God himself will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death, no more mourning, no more crying or pain. He will make all things new.
Until that day, let us grieve together, accompany one another, and hold fast to the hope of the Resurrection. And let us trust that the love which has brought us together in this life finds its ultimate fulfillment in the love of God, where one day we hope to be together again with McKenzie and all the faithful departed.
Photo Courtesy: Newman University
