One Friday does not count as a "Fall Break"

By Courtney Klaus, Editor-In-Chief

Fall break is finally here. It’s time for rest and relaxation. Time to dig into the hot cocoa, suit up the camper, drive to the lake, and get ready for one heck of a break.

We’ve got a lot of time to kill ladies and gentleman. As I’m sure you are all well aware, Newman’s fall break is a whopping Friday, Saturday and Sunday….

Okay, I’m just going to say what’s on everybody’s mind now:

Newman, DO NOT TELL ME you are counting Saturday and Sunday, days we already expect to have off every week, as part of our “Fall Break.”

Our Fall Break is a Friday. A sad, lonely little Friday in the middle of the month that gets most of us out of maybe 50 minutes of class total in the entire week.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful. A day off is always nice and appreciated, but I do have a problem. Why on earth are we calling it a “break” as though we are all getting some significant time off?

Sure, the University of Kansas has “Fall Break,” but they get both Monday and Tuesday off, so it makes sense. Wichita State has the same thing. Even our little lesser neighbor to the east, Friends University, gets to have both Thursday and Friday off.

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, but there should be a rule that in order to call something a break, you have to have at least two consecutive days off - and Saturday and Sunday don’t count. You get me?

When I went to high school and we only had a Friday off, you know what they called it? “Inservice day.” I get that this is somehow supposed to be different because the whole university is supposed to be closed, but come on. The students here know what they’re really getting, and it is not a “break.”

What am I supposed to do with this random extra Friday I have sitting there on my calendar like the sad lost McDonald’s fry that you find at the bottom of the bag? I mean, sure it’s a somewhat pleasant surprise, but the pleasure lasts for just a few seconds and then it’s just GONE.

Is a single extra day even enough to plan any good road trips? Family visits? POTLUCKS?

I guess some people can get creative, but my answer is no. It takes me at least three days to whip up a decent potato salad. How am I supposed to have enough time to enjoy myself?

Newman, I have eight whole weeks of stress taking pot shots at my poor, sad and tired brain, and I’m pretty sure I can feel the ulcers developing in my guts. One single day of break is not going to make any of that any better.

It has also been brought to my attention that some athletes have practice during this “Fall Break.” Poor kids. My hat goes off to them and their cruel coaches who refuse to honor the sacred 24 hour “break” they’ve been blessed with.

People, college is stressful. One day is not enough. Have mercy. Don’t tease us with the word “break.”

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo.