Response to Ty-Rade: Our campus cats are a part of Newman

By: Dana Beitey, Director of Alumni Relations

In last week’s Vantage, staff writer Ty Wilson wrote his Ty-Rade about some gangster cats that rule the campus. Ironically, the article was accompanied by a too-cute picture of “Sis” adorably sleeping.

So much for ferocious felines wearing tough leather jackets carrying combs that look like switchblades. So dear readers, if there are any dark alleys in your path, no need to fear the felines. I’m pretty sure they will actually be hiding under a bush or roaming the “cat”acombs beneath campus before they would form their cat gang and attack.

So here’s the whole “kitten” caboodle.

I am here to assure you these fluffy felines that roam our campus wouldn’t hurt a fly. Well, OK, probably a fly. Maybe a mouse or bird. Possibly the occasional squirrel. But only because the squirrel started it.

But humans? Nah. If you don’t bring them a treat, they really won’t bother looking your way. And a simple sneeze could cause them to scatter. There really isn’t any mobbing going on. I did see them gang up on a cicada once. But that was really more comical than scary.

Please be cautious of one thing, though. Some humans have become so enamored by their

cuteness that they have fallen into a temporary “cat”atonic state, not able to move, but instead, only able to stare at their enchanting allurement.

These darling purr-babies were born on campus and have made the best of their outdoor oasis. In fact, I have known some of them since the very beginning of their sweet little nine lives.

They know when and where they are welcome and enjoy the love they receive from numerous students, staff and faculty who relish in their presence. Some would even say these wild cats bring a bit of joy to their daily lives.

Those same individuals have taken several measures to keep the campus cat population down to a minimum, including re-homing 10 kittens and pooling money to make sure all the cats lefton campus were “fixed.”

Take comfort in knowing there isn’t a threat of future generations of cat mobs. No Planet of the Cats here.

Oh and one more thing. These cats are certainly loved by God. After all, they were born on the Newman University campus, which means they only know one faith — they are obviously Cradle “Cat”holics.

So to sum things up, the cats should definitely stay. And if Ty, or any other readers out there, would like to meet Sis, Jelly Belly, Sweet Pea, Pepper or Cattitude ... I know a guy.

It’s me. I’m the guy. Well … girl. Anyway, I can show you that these so-called terrorizing

gangster cats are really just looking for a friend. And a Temptations™ treat. They love those themost. Chicken flavor.

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo, Dana Beitey