If you want me to love you, leave me alone

By Marie O'Neal, Staff Writer

With February quickly fleeting, I can’t miss out on a prime opportunity to put some of my opinions about love out into the open.

If you are a regular reader of The Vantage, you may have seen the article I wrote for Valentine’s Day a couple of weeks ago about some of our lovely Newman couples.

I think I should start this out by saying I loved writing about other people’s love stories. That article made me really happy, and this isn’t about to be some bitter anti-love article.

So, I’m not in a relationship right now, and I’m very OK with that choice. But I have been dabbling in the dating scene, and I’ve come to a very important realization.

I think I would like dating better if communication were less instant.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge social media junkie. But I do love an intentional Snapchat. A funny video or picture from your day — awesome.

But that’s where I draw the line. I don’t like feeling like I always need to be available to someone just because we’re getting to know each other. I think it actually makes it harder to get to know the other person.

Think about it. You are living your own life before you meet this person, so it doesn’t make sense to suddenly update them about every move you make. The fact of the matter is, neither one of us is interesting enough to document and send photos constantly throughout our day.And it’s a little weird. I really don’t want to know what you’re doing 24/7.

I think an important part of dating, especially in the beginning, is not knowing everything about the other person. I like the idea of a little mystery and being able to wonder what someone is doing. You have to keep things interesting in the beginning. But when I constantly see your name on my phone, there is no room left for adolescent daydreaming.

I’m not saying that you shouldn't Snapchat or communicate via social media. I just think there needs to be a balance.

And not this fake, “I can’t reply too soon because the other person will think I’m too interested” facade. A real balance. Which for me is maybe responding in two to six hours because I just don’t look at my phone that often.

Finally, I want to be able to miss you. And frankly, I can’t miss you if you never leave me alone.

I know I can’t speak for everyone in my generation. Maybe this is just a “me” problem. I’m not here to tell you how to date. If you want to get to know another person through social media, by all means, go ahead. I just can’t get behind it — maybe I just don’t like people enough.

I finally gave up and deleted Snapchat all together because I was tired of always having notifications on my phone, and then feeling slightly guilty for not replying. I do not regret that decision at all.

The biggest problem I see with talking all the time is the ambiguity in text messages or Snapchats. Trust me, I just recently had a pretty big misunderstanding with someone via text message, and it was really embarrassing. But it’s probably not an appropriate story for The Vantage audience, so if you see me on campus, ask me and I’ll tell you. In person.

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo,