I’m graduating, but I’m too busy to care right now

By Leanne Vastbinder, Opinion and Online Editor

Apparently, I’m graduating next week, but I don’t really feel like I am. After four years, I figured my last month here would be filled with meeting with friends, making memories, and reflecting on everything that I’ve learned and experienced.

Instead, I am bogged down with 18 hours of classes, a bowling season, work, and trying to squeeze in the things that give me life, like serving at church. Cutting out Spring Break and shortening Easter break certainly didn’t help because I have never felt so overwhelmed or stressed with school before now.

I could say that I just have to persevere until graduation, but I’m not going to graduation because I will be at nationals all of next week with my women’s bowling team.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m beyond hyped to take on nationals in Michigan with my fellow lady Jets. We’ve worked so hard this season, and I would love nothing more than to secure a national championship with them. It’s been an incredible season and we’ve grown so much. We’ve been working towards nationals since the beginning of the year, and to succeed next week would mean so much to us.

However, I can’t pretend that it’s going to be easy missing my college graduation.

I’m so grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve had, the friendships I’ve gained, and the lessons I’ve learned. I just wish my undergraduate college experience didn’t have to end like this. I wish that I wasn’t swamped with finals and mentally exhausted, but that’s life I guess, right?

This semester has definitely been the hardest yet, and I think the effects of COVID-19 have been a major reason for that. I guess I can’t really put into words why this semester has been so hard, but I know that a lot of it is related to my mental strength, or lack thereof. And maybe it’s just hard knowing that I won’t have an event like graduation to mark the end.

Whatever the case, I’m striving towards this intangible finish, with a cap and gown sitting in my closet that will never be used. But I will complete everything and graduate; I will finish this chapter of my life.

Honestly, I wish I could pass on some words of wisdom or share what my time at Newman has meant to me, but at this point, I’m just too exhausted. Maybe once I am back in Florida, soaking up some sun and taking an actual break, I will be able think more clearly about a lot of this. In my heart, I know that my time at Newman has helped shape me into the person I am today. Sorry I don’t have more to say but for now, Newman University, it’s time to “sine die.”

PHOTO: Courtesy Photo, Unsplash